the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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