i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
