my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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