Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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