I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
