So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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