end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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