I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
