U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
