the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
