I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
