I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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