I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
