Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
