I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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