sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
