respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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