at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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