And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
