Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
