Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
