Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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