No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
