I need help removing her.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
