sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize