Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
