I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
