i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
