well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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