dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
