Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize