yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
