Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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