i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
