I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
