Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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