Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love having hate sex.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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