Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
