think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
