Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
