Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize