He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize