The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
