I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize