First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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