I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
