I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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