May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize