Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
