I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
