I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
