So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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