I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
