Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
