Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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