flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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