Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
