dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
